MeliGoesRogue

It’s one thing to make a mistake but quite another when you are confronted with it quite a time later. There are these conflicting emotions raging, where you are faced with the regret that you have battled so long to repress and the memory of when you did things that felt right and enjoyed the pleasure they brought, even if in the vein of a sin, a mistake, a weakness.
There is this alluring and self created prophecy that there will be a day when the mistakes that led me to my happiness will no longer be grieved but accepted and forgiven for their direction.
But I have not yet arrived at the prophecy so the self loathing is setting in and I struggle with the forgiveness I’ve been granted that I feel unworthy to accept. My own forgiveness sitting silently in the closet hoping not to be caught by the intruder.
He gently glides over the wooden floor and steps as lightly as possible on the stairs. I want so much to hear him coming but my ears have been sealed and all I hear is my own heartbeat as I inch closer towards the demise of my own making.
He is somewhere in the distance issuing commands. His voice reverberates thru the house and what reaches me are the gentle rumblings that cause me to question captor or savior. .