MeliGoesRogue

As a young girl, I lost my faith in people, but mostly women. Faith that they could love me unconditionally, that they could be trusted with my hurts and my fears. I allowed the mistakes of a few rob me of so many moments of happiness, freedom to fall and of safe places to sleep. Many years later when the roaring water boiled over and all those unsaid truths caused more harm than a thousand lies I knew I had to open the door and allow someone in. I had waited so long that all my desires and longing were now placed on this one person, inevitably they tumbled from the pedestal I had so precariously placed them upon. That boulder crushed me and yet it created a determination within for me to try again. Only now, after a few “safe” years of friendship have I come to know that there is too much of me for one woman (except my sweet mama, her shoulders are strong). I had to find different people to share different parts of me with, different paths we could take together.

On my very first day along the west coast of a little island called Ireland, I took this photo. The red arrow marked the path of an experienced “rambler” and the other a more leisurely walk for those who just got off a 12-hour plane ride. Both paths would eventually lead us to the same lighthouse, the same cliff with only the ocean below our feet. Yet we would arrive at different times with one of us struggling more to descend into the valleys and persist to climb.

There is a line from a movie that says ” I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else” In the platonic sense I feel that way with you. I want to “ramble” thru Craggs and hollows with you, pulling each other up when our boots get stuck in the mud. Pausing to revel in how far we have gone, and what we have accomplished together. Something feels safe with you, I can’t explain it, much like I could never explain the rip current that pulled me to Éire.

This journey is beginning, and while it is full of excitement it is also filled with questions. Some that may take a lifetime or a season to answer. I’m game…are you?