-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
The year has been a whirlwind. I knew this wouldn’t be a year I would be able to travel. My wanderlust quietly knocking at the door begging me for a boarding pass, but I remained locked within the confines of the new home I was making, content to make the most of the walls that…
Have you ever noticed that gratitude is something that needs to be “practiced”. Fear, disappointment and longing come like the HDMI cord with a TV but the rest needs to be setup, password and all. I have had such big moments this “birth year”. So much I have overcome and accomplished and yet what I…
I don’t know why I keep trying. It’s not as if my behavior has changed. My results will to continue to be the same. Men who see me and only see their next climax. Why shouldn’t they I present no speed bumps and I’m so fearful of rejection that I won’t put any up. They…
This quarantine has made me think of being apart. It was inevitable I suppose for an introspective heart like mine to eventually wander here. Truthfully I am surprised it took this long. In moments like these I seek out familiar things. Movies and music that will reverberate the echoes of my heart. I have written…
What’s happening in my heart is so complicated. As with so many things in my life, I had an image of what this little trip would be and instead I was forced to re imagine it en route. For so long I have dreamed of fields and mountains which stood in stark opposition to the…
“The most painful state of being is remembering the future.” Kierkegaard I sit beneath the moon whose light feels brighter than the sun. Confronted with something I have likened to love but is in reality true care and friendship. I have confused the two and the pain comes each time I realize my error. You…
Just like that I’m back on my Emerald Isle. It seems fitting on my fifth trip to return to the heart of my first. The place, the one that told me I could. Ireland is not just a place, for me it is a beating heart beat, a shoulder when tears fall, a mountain back…
I started the evening as I have many times before, sitting in the dark and waiting. Waiting for the ton of bricks to come down upon me and shock me into this next year of life. Instead the words that I wrote became less a proclamation and more of the concealment of a matter. What…
How is it your not here? Why is it I must ask this question again? It’s been awhile since I felt this loss. I was just starting to normalize. I just saw you. I felt your hug and smelled you. I’ve tried to not think of you this week. There have been moments of the…
I don’t even remember how to make the salve. I can feel the stinging and can’t accept that I’m back here again. Who broke you that now you can only love that which you break. Everyone sees strength in me and all I see is the girl you broke. How do I get back ?…
MeliGoesRogue 