I’ve always known the ferocious intensity with which I have protected my private life has always been out of the ordinary. I’m not entirely sure I know where that deep desire for privacy and secrets came from…or at least I’m not ready to share that. I have however come to find that there might not be many if any people out there that know truly who I am. I don’t mean that banal bullshit of who I am in this world and who I want to be but rather the me that seems so buried deep within but that really has always been right below the sea level.
Only God knows what would possess such a private person to start a blog..I’ve convinced myself into thinking that I’m doing this so I can share with my family and friends this amazing adventure I’m setting out on. Yet even as I type the words the little Meli inside nudges me towards the truth. How hard is it to stand before someone you love and tell the truth, it’s actually quite hard. How much easier is it to type it up and send it out into the world and maybe they see it maybe they don’t maybe I’m a few miles away maybe I’m 4,129 miles away. Maybe that privacy I so desperately protect has kept me from finding that which I desire the most.
I pray that this distance can break the shell of my understanding. Do I no longer wish be the woman that stands at the edge of the abyss and wonders what it might be like to fall into it. What dark wonders would befall or what wondrous light I would find. So much of me is hidden that I think the safest way to pull her out is to go to a country, a land not my own and allow her the freedom to roam the countryside of my consciousness till she feels safe enough to find the tip of my tongue and jump.
Ireland..Éire
So many people have asked why I chose to go to Ireland on this grand adventure. The truth is my reasonings are not of my own understanding. It wasn’t as simple as spinning a globe and pointing. There was something primitive in the choice of Ireland a truly “old country” one I could lose and find myself in, a place where the winding roads would lead me to new horizons while safely keeping me from the cliffs edge.
I wish I wasn’t make the trip myself and yet a part of me wonders if I am. This is not an eat, pray love moment this is a fly, fall and soar moment.  So much awaits me  in that car, that room those cliffs. I feel safety in that unknown because its my own, because those failures and triumphs I will find will be mine to share or mine to keep. I take the hearts of so many on this journey those who know me as best as anyone can know’s this is not a “vacation” this is an accomplishment.
So here we go…will you fly out the window with me, across the ocean to a landscape unknown to the both of us.
OÃche Mhaith
MeliGoesRogue 
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