Piece of Sky

Once again we are going off schedule for an emotional blog post. This one will most likely be two parts. The excitement of going home to my loved ones today and the sadness of the ending of a new adventure as the plane ascends to its home in the sky.

Today was my day in London. I arrived last night but was absolutely exhausted and slightly disappointed, you’ll learn why when I get to that day (si Dios quiere). It was only upon waking in my blue Russian room that i realized how much I really missed home. Perhaps it was because the journey had already ended for me. This day was and is a kind of a layover. I laid in the bed for quite awhile, recounting the last two weeks. There was so much left to see and do. I needed days of nothing but the sun and the sky, sitting on a terrace overlooking my loch.

Love it seems for landscape comes easily for me. There have been moments although I would never admit them to my siblings, that I wonder what life would have been like for us if we had stayed in Colombia. The pains I would have avoided but the nightmares that would always remain, but I would have been in the country among the animals and the mountains. Those moments don’t last long, the realization which I would however happily share with my siblings is, that would probably be the only corner of the world I would ever see. I would have never been able to afford the life that goes to all these incredible countries and experiences these new scents and flavors and sounds oh my god the sounds of silence, of waters streaming of lovers whispering. The moment passes over and I remain grateful for even the circumstances that brought us to this place. I have truly learned you can not regret anything, even the bad things were tools used to bring you to this moment and to make you the person you are now and the person you have yet to become. I love my mother deeply, and as I always say not because she is perfect but because she has revealed her flaws and her fallibility. She has endeared herself to my heart and her decisions however painful for her most likely (almost surely) saved me from greater pain, even if she didn’t know it. She has remained ever present on this trip with me.

As usual the red wine is swirling in the glass beside me and as it nears its end I realize so must I, and yet there is still left to say.

I don’t ask a lot of those of you who stop by my corner but in this case I feel its rather important. At least its important for me to ask and for you to decide to do. Would you listen to this song-
just replace papa with mama and your get the point.

There has been this overwhelming theme in this trip. “A Piece of Sky”.
I think of that caged feeling and being surrounded by those who accept their little piece of sky when you’ll only settle for the whole thing. thank my lucky stars that we left so that one day as adults with means and desire we could return to the country life even if for some of us its the homeland and for others where the whisky runs and the pints await. While Yentl and I might be from different times, the truth is we are both women unsatisfied with what we have, but willing to do what is necessary to get what we do want. “Each mile I travel only means the more I have to go”. This travel is not only about pleasure although it is bound to happen, each flight and stamp in my passport is a statement of independence and perseverance. For me a woman who wants nothing more than a husband and children and a place to make a home I believe this is vital to me not becoming lost in those other things. To be able to find meaning in my own life without them will allow me to appreciate them when I have them.

I have this strong feeling that when I do have children the lot of them will be girls. Part of it I’m sure will be so I can see what my mother had to deal with, but I hope if God so allows that my life can be a landscape to them, that they can see the mountains and the valleys, the streams of tears and the rivers of life and hopefully they themselves will get that little blue booklet and fly and soar…”with all there is, why settle for just a piece of sky. Here are the windows with the pieces of sky I found. How can the same sky be so different?